Friday, October 29, 2010
Living the nightmare
I am sorry for postponing the plan of the movie last week...I know that you are fed up of spending your day at the daycare and thus wish to spend a day out with your parents,,,but how can I explain you about my fear,,the fear of the sympathy portrayed on me by the cruel society...
It all started with a pain in the right breast.I guessed if it was the outcome of the stress of your approaching mid term exams...or the load of targets I had to accomplish at workplace...I simply ignored the pain..for health was always a second option for me.
later cold cough and other illness started troubling me and the antibiotics suggested by Dr. Gupta did not work.
And then the abnormalities in my body lead me to consult a better doctor .
The tests that he suggested had weird names that I had never heard of. His advice to avoid lifting heavy weight couldn't stop me from lifting your schoolbag everyday to school. Afterall how could I run from my responsibilities???
It was a dreadful Wednesday when I ran out of the doctors cabin...I was almost paralysed . I couldn't even scream to disturb the peaceful ambiance of the hospital. All that I could do was hold you father's hand helplessly .. I was helpless to accept the reality of the BREAST CANCER that I was diagnosed with.
It was you filled in my thoughts. Blots of your innocence and love defeated me . I knew I had to win over this. I had to survive.
I believed that I was the luckiest woman in the world . The most pampered daughter , the most loved wife and the best mother.
But now unfortunately all that I possess are the sleepless nights..and tons of sympathy.Perhaps that is the reason why I hid it from rest of the society...
I am helpless to answer your questions. How can I explain you the sudden baldness over my head..???How can I explain you the clashing of dates of the parents meeting at your school and the chemotherapy treatment at the hospital????
now that i am free of this disease and doctor assures my healthy life....I am also free of my infected body part...the most important part of a female .....ever since the operation...my right breast is now something that existed in past..
I fear your request for a baby brother for your mom is now helpless.
I wish I could lead the same life as before.....no more sympathies...no more medical advices...no more sleepless nights...
I want back the happiness of our family..I wish to lead a normal day of 10 hour at workplace, two hours in the kitchen..and rest of the day with you....I don't want to be a target of sympathy anymore for I have lived a nightmare for the past two years......
Hats off to the blogadda's campaign to combat cancer....when I read this article on blogadda the first thing that came to my mind was the story of my cousin who recently escaped the clutches of this dreadful disease.
Above is an excerpt of her fight with the disaster......through my viewpoint all that she wanted to tell to her daughter....the seven year old niece of mine.
Cancer has always been a nightmare to many people around me...Right from my classmate who died of blood cancer to two of my family friends diagnosed with breast cancer and stomach cancer....
Looking forward for a better world...free from the clutches of this demon...................
Paper clip is a Mumbai based blogger who never gets tired of talking. She aspired to be an astronaut however ended up being an IT graduate and writer. She loves to sleep, and sleepless nights means another story is on it's way. Short stories, poetry and humorous but reality portraying article adorn her blog. She is also a contributing author in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Doctors Edition. And nurtures the dream of writing a novel all by herself someday.