Saturday, January 24, 2015

Every Non Resident Keralite (NRK)

1.When it comes to heroes, We love Mohanlal, or otherwise its Mamooty . Period. 

Okay, there is an Exception.

2. We do not eat idli and dosa for lunch and dinner. And food is not just idli and dosa for Malayalis.

3.We have an Uncle in the Gelf  (Dubai+Abudhabhi+Sharjah+Saudi+Maasscat+etc)
and we do preserve the Arabic scripted soaps and shampoos in our closet.

4. If you are a Non resident Keralite , and we accidentally meet, the first question is “Where are you from?”  I admit the sole purpose of this question is to recognize which version of Malayalam you speak.  

5. It is not just Malayalam,, There are different Malayalam(s).  –north, south, east and west.

6. We already know the stories of many a Bollywood movies, cause they were first made in Malayalam, and mind you  those were far better.

7. We do mock the accent of our fellow mallus, especially you are just imported from kerala.  

Image courtesy : http://rethish-caricature.blogspot.com/2012_02_01_archive.html

8. Ever heard  'tapioca'? We love it. Its our staple diet,  I repeat it isn’t Idli and dosa.

9. Food isn’t tasty if there is no coconut in it, atleast it requires a drop of coconut milk. And cholesterol is our birthright


10. Point 8  revisited.  Parotta. + Chicken curry. I repeat, it is not just rice.

11. Politics is not just BJP or Congress. It bleeds red for a mallu. Lal Salam. 

12. Babaji ka  thullu has its origin in Kerala, and it was named, ‘shitt’.Just remember that.

13. We love speaking only in Hindi and English  the moment we land in Kerala. 

14. If it’s about watching Television,  We watch only MTV  if fellow keralites are around in the house,simble

15. You dance in the disco and go crazy? Try this someday

16. And this

17. And finding a fellow Mallu in the crowd is relief. And spotting a north indian in Kerala when you are on a vaction , it is a matter of pride," aur bhaiya kaise ho! " . And then you look around with a raised collar.

18. We are proud Kerala is 100% literate. And also secretly proud that we weren’t educated in Kerala.

19. Before Sreeshanth there was this guy, we were proud of 

20. Last , We are not Madrasis. It is Malayali. Or the MALLU

This video is very interesting, If you are a malayali  you will laugh holding your stomach.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

A Letter to my 'Would be' son

Hello Son-in-future,

I do not know the exact time for when you will be reading this letter. I do not know how the world around you would have evolved by then. For now, your mother is 22, clueless about where her life is dragging her along. Perhaps to an ambitious world, I am presently spending my days in a beautiful world that bears some stained humanity with occasional happiness and sorrow, just like a day you are going to feel in your twenties.

As I am penning this letter on my father’s laptop, perhaps you might be reading the message on your iPhone or whatever the better gadgets was invented then.For me, world has changed drastically in a decade.  I miss cartoon network. I miss Poppins. I miss Mario. 

Oh sorry you might not know them.

However, the purpose of this letter is not to enlighten you about cartoon series, or to bore you about lives of my days, but to tell you how I wish my son should be like. And how I wish every son around me could be like.

Baby, there are going to be many Women in your life. As your Girlfriend, your Wife, or your sister, perhaps a best friend forever or your daughter and even if you chose to be a Bachelor, you and like any other creature will have a mother who is woman.

Respect them.

Your mom was not sent to Earth on a mission for keep doing all your domestic chores all through her life . Learn to wash your clothes by yourself. Take efforts to lift that plate after Dinner and walk up to the kitchen sink, these small deeds will make her smile.Do not ask her, “How does me doing things, affect you? “. It does. It affects her motherhood. Before you  hurt her, For once look through her eyes, Place yourself in her shoes, I am sure you will have a different perspective then.

You are NOT always right. She has an experience of life few decades more than you. And you always know experience make a (Wo) man perfect. For you have always had to lose the first set of games on your Xbox multiple times before you mastered them. She is a better player in the game of Life.
Let the hands that once protected you, hold yours for protection some day. Never abandon her.

Talking of other women in your life, do not worry. It is not difficult to understand Women. All it takes is to ask her in the language of love.

And love, It is okay to fall in love. It is also okay to go through a heart break. However that does not make every girl disloyal. Do not blame anyone for your mistakes. Have Patience. Love does come back to you. It has to.And if it comes back to you, do not hesitate. Tell her that you love her. For things need to be said, Life is not about regrets. Love her, propose her and marry her and do not wait till I tell you to register on a matrimonial website.

And then about your wife, she is not your responsibility and she wasn't married to you to lessen your mom’s burden at household chores. She wasn't married to you to dry the towel that you throw away after you bath. She has her life. You do not possess her. Let her be alongside you and not behind you. Let her dream, and support her to fulfill them. Love her.

Never sell yourself for I have not raised you to be sold at a bright lit ceremony called marriage in exchange of an expensive four wheeler.  Salary does matter, but son, Character matters more.

Respect Womanhood. If you act, your sons will, your friends will and eventually the society will. Perhaps, you cannot change the world, but you can change yourself.

Every Lady menstruates. Your mother does, your wife will and your daughter will. It is not something that needs to be hidden from you. Support her during those days. Boy it’s no easy to live a normal life for a week every month whilst you know you are bleeding inside your pants. She can be touched.

Moreover, Never Judge a girl on the basis of her attire.  Any day. She has the right to decide how to ornament her body. If she is eve teased, molested, or raped, she is NOT at fault.
You do not have to blame the government, or the system, or the society for being passive. They are not the direct cause of a rape, individuals make a society. If she is a victim, support her, else protect her from being a victim, moreover you please do not make her a victim.

Love your country. If you can’t be at the borders fighting for the nation, at least protect the peace within the country. Do not overestimate you religion or underestimate someone else’s faith.
Do not take things for granted. The foot path or the drains have not been constructed by your father so that you can make it your private property. Learn to hold it for few minutes until you reach home or a toilet. It is Possible. Your sister does that most of the time.

And last but not the least, Boys can cry.  Men shouldn't always tighten their fist, but they should learn to let it loose to wipe tears.

 With Love,
Your mom-in-future.