BLANK PAGES

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 28; the 28th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'BLANK PAGES'.

Everything seems confused.As if you are completely aware of your destination, but the path remains unknown.
 All hopes withered.

 

As I hold the pen against this sheet of paper, the ink seems frozen
Either its the loss of words or the ceased mind.

My Last words that will be soon on these blank pages, and then they don't remain just lifeless papers, they will be soon called a  suicide note.

I can sense it approaching,I can feel the pangs of death, I can see the glowing pall, though I honestly wish I could live more. I never wished to end it this way,

It feels heavy to gather the last few words, to conceal my entire life and explain my helplessness in few words.

If death was an easy option, Living life would never be so difficult.

 




They still remain blank, clueless .

Neither it was decided, nor did it happen  spontaneously, gradually the pain grew inside me, and I was dying everyday

I can feel her heartbeat,Yes its her.Though I  have not yet given birth to her, I could feel the mother in me.
I can see the ruthless claws of death around her, ready to grasp her to end anytime.

 For any mere spectator, I am the happiest lady in the world, born with a silver spoon, grown in riches, married to the most eligible gentleman, and now to be a mother.

 

Suicide was something out of my mind, neither I gave it a thought till I realized it.

As these pages still remain blank, similar to my life, pale and meaningless.
these blank pages damped in my tears, reminds me of my state of mind, cold , blank and clueless

Doctors call It,

ACQUIRED IMMUNE DEFICIENCY SYNDROME

AIDS

Though it was the most beautiful night in my life , It instilled a venom in me, destined to slow death, and now its her too , inside me

Perhaps ,that's why I don't want to bring her to this mean world, where all are just masked faces,  ruthless , and sombre.

It wasn't my mistake, but its me paying it off to his cruelty.
He could have avoided it,  But life is not always kind and generous.

To escape this pain, I find death the only option,

The pages still remain blank , for gathering your last word for your beloved ones, is difficult

Though they are blank, incomplete, they tell the story of my pain ,
 these blank pages damped in my tears

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.