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Sunday, January 13, 2013

Guide to the Ladies DiBbA

No, Inspiration for writing this post, five to six years experience is more than enough to post about a Ladies compartment of Mumbai Local.

Note : Pun intended everywhere




Now the area of Interest aka the Ladies dibba can be categorized as,  front wali ladies, middle and the Last Ladies. ( purely in the true Mumbaikar train life jargon).

Beginning from the start, Lets start exploring a character from the platform itself:

1. Grab it first Aunties: Now these are the most famous species on the platforms, You can find them with the sari pallu tucked to one side , and their handbags gripped tightly. Their most loved position is at the edge of the platform. They will keep of on bending and swaying their head here and there to check if the trains arriving, The best thing is the the weird face expression they make W hen you try to move forward, as if you just invaded into their territory.Once they see the train distance away, they will star the preparations  they will make some space, stretch their hands, twist neck ,grip their hand bags, ( just like the boxer who get started in his ring) . They wont wait for the train to  stop, Once they get hold of the rod or the door  handle of the yet to slow down train, they are inside.Faster than any hurdle champion, you can see them comforting on their DESERVED seat , giving others a victory smile.



2.Forefinger Ladies : Now these are the second most found species. Once they are inside the train, their most flaunted weapon, their forefinger will come hunting you. Pointing towards you they will ask or gesture "kuthey?? " (where ). Now any other regular commuter of Mumbai local knows this question is the first phase of the FREE OF COST seat reservation technique .You are supposed to tell them your destination railway station, after a series of forefinger attacks and decision making they will reply "mala  dya " (give me). And there you are, your seats reserved.In case there's a second forefinger attack you are supposed not to reply or nod your head.




3. Group'ed Ladies: Another practice in the local trains here. A set of ladies aka GROUP will occupy the six -extended to- eight seater  area for themselves . Any external Entities trying to enter their territory will repent the most. Now these people are also a very good company. They will occasionally exchange seats, let the standing ones sit for sometime, and in case you are  a regular face, you will be give more preference. everything is discussed here. Right from the latest recipes   to Ekta 's tragedy serials. Everything is shared here. Right from the sweets to The special dishes prepared at home  Be it newspapers or the headphones, it belongs to everyone here. They wont let the journey go passive and boring. I belong to the 7.14 , CST train , Last ladies  first door group :P




4. The Shift Ladies: The most Irritating species. 'SHIFT'  is their word. Once they are inside the train, their eyes go searching for the BIG fourth seat. In case you are the LUCKY third seat occupant, they will ask you to SHIFT, In short you have to shift a little or like the normal ladies do, shake a little here and there, done their showcase the vanity and comfort of the FOURTH seat .





5.Feel at home aunties : Now, I love them very much. Other than providing you a few weight loss or grooming tips, they are the ones who know everything under the sun. Once they are settled ,they will make the train their own place, with the woolens and the knitting job, they are often busy , be it the torans or sweaters.  The second category is is the perfect homemakers. They will ready the vegetables , clean up the mess in methi or palak , so that its easy to cook at home. Perfect time saving technique . In case its the students like me, we write our assignments, discuss flash cards and quizzes there .  In case its a fashion obsessed lady, she will carry an entire beauty parlor in her bag. Some even have a separate bag to carry the make up kit. Once they are three to four stations away from your destination, they will gradually start the grooming process, . Be it combing the hair, or trying the new lipstick and what not.



6.The door obsessed ones: These are the kind of people who love the doors more than anything. It doesn't matter to them, if the train is Crowded or empty, all they want is the door. Most of them have this scarf wrapped across to combat the dust attack.Now they love their doors more than the seat loving aunties, the shift system is applicable here too (unfortunately , yes , you have to book doors too).




7. Lookaholics : I hate them, yes . These are the ones who will keep on staring at you if you are wearing a nice kurti, or a short dress,open hairstyle or reading a novel If they don't find anything n you,they widen their horizons  they will search for another prey If you are in a first class ladies compartment , you will find some in the nearby gents compartment too. Or if its the middle ladies second class, mind you , the handicapped compartment will provide you such onlookers. Some of them love being the peeping Tom in case you are texting someone.

8. Shopping spree : These are the ones who will aim all the salesmen on the train.They will check everything right from the nail polishes, hair clips  mobile case ,teddy bears to the 5 on 10 pens. After trying a range of products either they end up buying none, or bargaining with the poor chap.  These aunties will give you free suggestions in case you look on some products, and once you buy they have this dialogue "the lady on the 8.24 train sells it cheap" .



9. I love your family aunties : Don't go by the name, these are the ones who just wait for a the right moment. If by any chance , you happen to push them, or even touch them by mistake I bet they are gonna screw you . After a set of daily abuses, they will start blaming your family for ill mannered behavior . Your mothers and sisters will be remembered often. In case you are silent  , they will continue irritating you until you speak up and they will make sure your day ahead is ruined.  In case you travel in first class, they will screw you culturally in a sophisticated manner.

10. The sleeping beauties : They just wait for the train to catch up speed and in a moment they are asleep. They will occasionally fall over your shoulders, No matter how hard you try to keep them away. Some even posses the quality to sleep standing in a very crowded train, but that needs hell lot of experience. The best part is the sixth sense wake up call these people get once their destination is near.




All Images courtesy : To the ones who clicked or designed it , And to beloved Google


The list is not over , there are lot many species out there on the Mumbai locals, Ladies dibba. The journey isnt complete, Every day you discover a new type. However Its no less than pure Entertainment. If you manage to get into the train, You are already one of them.

To be continued :)

42 comments:

  1. it is a nice post
    i travelled t mumbai lot of time and i noticed people there but not in this way.
    this is the first time i come to your blog
    its a nice blog
    keep writing
    check my blog
    http://drivingwithpen.blogspot.in/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Chirag :)

      You will definitely meet them if you try to travel in Ladies compartment :)

      Delete
  2. This is too funny Virat.I mean the way you have categorized the women in local trains.So its like good research work and in which category do you belong too....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, Thanks Ste :)

      Y the research, its an everyday story for me :) I belong to multiple categories :)

      Delete
  3. I have never traveled in a ladies compartment,but your post has given me a great picture of it.Your observation is quite remarkable :).Eagerly waiting for the continuation.
    Well written post :)

    Cheers
    MS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Arjun :)
      Try travelling in Ladies compartment at least once, there are certain species that turn into Rani Lakshmi Bai as soon as they see a gentleman in their territory.

      Delete
  4. I can point one type here, Elbowing Ladies.

    :) nice post. I was in Mumbai today but somehow dint board any local. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HI FI ! !, How come I missed the elbowing specie ! I am a big favorite for all of them, coming in the next part then.

      Thanks Makk :)

      Delete
  5. WoW....liked ur categorization and ur creativity is shown here .

    ReplyDelete
  6. Variety lends spice to life.So much in a train journey.
    But I dread the crowd there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You sir.

      Train journeys here are as variant as the crowd here. They are indeed dreadful . But one can hardly skip the lifeline of Mumbai- the local trains

      Delete
  7. Ha!Ha! I travel frequently in the Mumbai locals :) I enjoyed reading this!! There are all kinds of people - I once met a woman who was undressing and changing into party clothes on the train and it was quite horrifying an experience for me....I hate those women who sit at the door, cutting their veggies or sorting flowers and you need to jump over them when your station nears....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you
      Oh, that was very horrifying, Fortunately am yet to face them.
      Indeed the Door Obsessed ones, most probably the ones who are stationed there until the last stop indeed irritated a lot.

      Delete
  8. LOL! I am wondering what species I would be if I am there. After reading this, it feels like riding train in Mumbai is a marathon task and there are many techniques which you need to follow.

    And the list is still not complete...:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha , thanks Saru.
      Regularly travelling in Mumbai locals is indeed an art in itself. Riding Train, is far easier that facing the crowd within.

      Delete
  9. Haha...actually i reckon this tale has a universal appeal...not just in mumbai but u wud find such women all over india . good post :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed Ritesh, I came across them in the local Trains :) thanks

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. Thanks Dada, Next part soon to be released :P

      Delete
  11. Loved the compilation. The pictures are also matching..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Tom, Pictures courtesy,only Google

      Delete
  12. This is hilarious I could so relate to it, travelling daily.
    Central Railway ho ya Western Railways the categories remain the same still the very same ladies will fight, western is more crowded than central or vice-versa :P

    Haina :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HEHEE! HI FI

      I am fed up these same faces all day, every day fights, pushes, elbowing ,My goodness, Hell every day . Be it central or western, both are equally horrifying

      Thanks for sharing Fati :)

      Delete
  13. mast hai re!!!
    da "I love your family aunties " mujse hamesha takrati reheti hai.. :P

    rojka hai.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :P Me to tuje hi yad kari thi woh likte waqt

      Delete
  14. LMAO, Crazy post. I can actually imagine what you see in those dibbahs :D lol

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hahhahahahha! I really enjoyed reading this post! You are a very keen observer of what is going on in the surroundings. Loved the way you classified and explained different types of passengers :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Sri. I get bored, so All that I can do is observer people around me :P

      Delete
  16. i enjyd reading dis post..yar,even though m nt a daily traveler bt i enjyd the ladies dibba.:-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. The very own Delhi metro gave us a women's coach! I would categorically call myself a lookaholic! :P I love observing people! As a silent spectator! And wow, what a blog name you have! :)

    Kindly visit

    www.rinzurajan.blogspot.in

    ReplyDelete
  18. Fun and frolic...loved how you goofed up even the daily hassles like dealing with such aunties!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Don't know what it is about Mumbai train stories - especially the ladies compartment - love 'em. I thought the group ladies got the most out of their journey. Discussions, food and a seat to rest their backsides on. And trust the inventiveness of the poor in blocking off seats and exchanging them for cash. Don't know whether to laugh or feel sad that they have to. Still, a wonderful post.

    ReplyDelete
  20. yes ! Yes! YESS! Is all i kept saying thruout..

    ReplyDelete
  21. :D hmm !! Mumbai Trains ... well... its a gem of an experience ! had no chance of experiencing the ladies compartment ( and I am happier being a guy :) ) ever ... but i experienced it through your post ! :) nice read !!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hilarious this is...While being in the moment we dont find it funny neither is it amusing but now when i sit back and read all this i feel like shittt i soooo miss it now... I have also seen ladies playing garba during navrati in a khachakhach full train sooo anything can happen in our mumbai locals...Well thanks for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh really ? they play Garba.. yet to see that though

      Happy that you loved the post Keep visiting :)

      Delete