Living the nightmare

Dear anu,

I am sorry for postponing the plan of the movie last week...I know that you are fed up of spending your day at the daycare and thus wish to spend a day out with your parents,,,but how can I explain you about my fear,,the fear of the sympathy portrayed on me by the cruel society...

It all started with a pain in the right breast.I guessed if it was the outcome of the stress of your approaching mid term exams...or the load of targets I had to accomplish at workplace...I simply ignored the pain..for health was always a second option for me.

later  cold cough and other illness started troubling me and the antibiotics suggested by Dr. Gupta did not work.
And then the abnormalities in my body lead me to consult a better doctor .
The tests that he suggested  had weird names that I had never heard of. His advice to avoid lifting heavy weight couldn't stop me from  lifting  your schoolbag everyday to school. Afterall how could I run from my responsibilities???

It was a dreadful Wednesday when I ran out of the doctors cabin...I was almost paralysed . I couldn't even scream to disturb the peaceful ambiance of the hospital. All that I could do was hold you father's hand helplessly .. I was helpless to accept the reality of the BREAST CANCER  that I was diagnosed with.

It was you filled in my thoughts. Blots of your innocence and love defeated  me . I knew  I had to win over this. I had to survive.

I believed that I was the luckiest woman in the world . The most pampered daughter , the most loved wife and the best mother.
But now unfortunately all that I possess are the sleepless nights..and tons of sympathy.Perhaps that is the reason why I hid it from rest of the society...

I am helpless to answer your questions. How can I explain you the sudden baldness over my head..???How can I explain you the clashing of dates of the parents meeting at your school and the chemotherapy treatment at the hospital????

now that i am free of this disease and doctor assures my healthy life....I am also free of my infected body  part...the most important part of a female .....ever since the operation...my right breast is now something that existed in past..

I fear your request for a baby brother for your mom is now helpless.

I wish I could lead the same life as before.....no more sympathies...no more medical advices...no more sleepless nights...

I want back the happiness of our family..I wish to lead a normal day of 10 hour  at workplace, two hours in the kitchen..and rest of the day with you....I don't want to be a target of sympathy anymore for I  have lived a nightmare for the past two years......

Hats off to the blogadda's campaign to combat cancer....when I read this article on blogadda the first thing that came to my mind was the story of my cousin who recently escaped the clutches of this dreadful disease.
Above is an excerpt of her fight with the disaster......through my viewpoint all that she wanted to tell to her daughter....the seven year old niece of mine.

Cancer has always been a nightmare to many people around me...Right from my classmate who died of blood cancer to two of my family friends diagnosed with breast cancer and stomach cancer....
 Looking forward for a better world...free from the clutches of this demon...................

The wrong Neighbour

Since the last few days,, the are lot of rumours spreading in the GenY group of our apartment.
Ever since the vacant flat on the third floor was declared to be rented,,,we grew up many expectations!
The guys expected a cute looking sweet girl whereas the girls wished for a handsome young guy as the new neighbour.
So in order to make sure of the new neighbour, we thought of visiting their house and welcome them to our society.
ah!

Our new neighbor was indeed smart ,,,
She was cute....,,,,,but very young.....
So young that she stood there in her kindergarten uniform.

SO we had to adjust with this Extra young cute character......

but we soon realised that this new neighbour of ours (whom we now refer to as MIRCHI) is
THE COMPLETE PACKAGE

She is very interested in studies.
She is in the second grade....an hence wants us (the GenY) to teach her for the exams.

Yesterday she was reading aloud her history answer....

"Shivaji defecated the evil in Maharashtra."

"what.....!!!!!!!! areee....what are you speaking?????show me the book..."

the original sentence read like this:

shivaji defeated the evil in Maharashtra.

She was very much interested in misusing  the English language.

yesterday she was reading the news paper....

the minister conceived the other ministers in the party.

while the original news was:

the minister convinced the other minister in the party meeting.

Yesterday,,i was caught with cold and cough....
this was her suggestion to me....

you better eat mesidine. Kerosene  pain relief is better.

I was speechless.
Later I got it clarified from her mother.....

mesidine means medicine
and kerosene stands for Crocin

Her biggest trouble is that I call her a  tribal....(this is how she pronounces trouble).

Her recent contribution to Indian history is

Mahatma Gandhi is the father of denotion.

correct statement: Mahatma Gandhi is the father of the nation.

Mumbai is lactated in Maharashtra

correct statement: Mumbai is located in Maharashtra.

Thus god granted our wish.

we got the smart , cute, ENTERTAINING, girl as bold as a guy whom we proudly call,.................MIRCHI!!!!!!!!!

HOPELESS DREAMS

He was very excited today. It was his last chance. After he failed in the S.S.C board exams, life was terrible for him. A few months before, he was helpless to explain his failure. He couldn’t recognize the reason for the low marks he scored in the mathematics examination.

Whether it was the shock caused by his dad's sudden death?

Whether it was the unexpected burden of responsibilities on him after his dad's sad demise?


Or was it the hate towards the subject Maths?


However,, Today he loathed remembering these unanswered questions. Today, He has this second chance with him to rewrite the math exam and prove his eligibility for higher studies. It’s his ATKT exam today.


Since the last three months he has struggled a lot for today.

His only aim was passing the maths examination. He practiced maths problems entire day, he almost became insomniac in the night.

He lived maths, he breathed maths, if he ever discussed anything then, it was his desire to score in the exam.

He had changed completely. He started loving the subject. He even started attending career counseling, so as to decide his future plans.


Being his neighbor, I could see the growth he underwent day by day. Sense of responsibility towards his family could be recognized from his talks. The guy who never touched his maths notebook started knocking my doors requesting me to explain the doubts he faced in the subject.

I still remember the text message I received last month at 3.00 a.m.:


Di,, will you please teach me the conversion of binary to decimal???


He had assured his mother that he is going to top the exam. His hard work reflected the success that awaited him.

Today..is the day..his examination..his last chance...

He was very excited. He was the first student to reach the examination hall. He was smiling throughout while searching his roll no. on the notice board,, wishing luck to the guy next to him..And sharpening the pencils.. Sticking the holocraft....

He waited anxiously for the question paper.

He soon saw a man in his forties enter the classroom. The man distributed several papers to the students. But not everyone, only half of the class.

He peeped to the next bench.

It was not question papers, but,,,,,,


A SHEET WITH SOLUTIONS TO THE QUESTIONS IN THE EXAM.

He was astonished. He felt completely blank.


The guy next to him said: "you didn’t pay?? It hardly costs a few hundred bucks. Who has time to study these boring sums...they give the entire answer sheet for the money!"

He didn’t understand what was happening. His hands were motionless, he couldn’t hold the pen.

Is this the reward for his hard work? The rich guys need not work hard?

He felt betrayed...he felt useless....no one in the world would ever understand his feelings. Because he was a failure. And if he failed in the repeated exam, he will no longer be worthy of living. However he tried scribbling some numbers on the answer sheet. The rest of the time he spent cursing the almighty for his unluck!!!

He returned home with a weird face. I met him on the stairs of our apartment.

"HEY, how was the test??? Why so sad???"

He said :

"Nothing ...its useless till we allow money to rule over hard work. Its not education that is considered....its the bank balance of one's parents..Its money that wins everywhere...I was helpless...
My DREAMS ARE HOPELESS...."

The very next moment he broke into tears. I tried convincing him. But the wound in his heart was so deep that my words fell over deaf ears......

Don’t know whom to blame....

His fate???

The education system???


The corrupt people???


The blind spectators like us???


Or the society????

CORRUPTION is slowly defeating democracy and we are so inactive allowing corruption to win....

My other posts on ::

1. INDIAN EDUCATION SYSTEM: POSITIVE DISCRIMINATION  (click to read)

2. CORRUPTION:    1.A police in need is a beggar indeed.

                                  2. Encountered again