Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Stop..Its the LOC of INDIAN WOMEN

Foreigner :  Why Do Indian Women have this red mark on their forehead?

Indian:    That means is Bhumi ka Bhumipoojan ho gaya hai (This land is already occupied).

If you are one among many who laughed at this joke, mind you This sms did hurt many a women.

I was hurt, for any women would have been hurt. The worst is that it was a lady friend of mine who forwarded the text to me.
Right from my childhood I had this many questions about the rituals and traditions the married women has to follow. The worst being that its only forced upon HER and not HIM!

Be it any religion,There has been many norms and conditions as to how a married lady should dress up.

Most of the Hindus have this sindoor custom, Of applying Sindoor to the at the hair parting area.
As customs say,

 "The custom of filling sindoor in the hair parting is followed only after marriage because as soon as tying the nuptial knot, the free spirited girl suddenly gets transformed into a responsible wife and a daughter-in-law who has to take care of everybody present in her new home. "( as quoted  from some web sourcee).

My question is  , is it only women who gets transformed into responsible individual post tying the nuptial knot? So what is that which symbolizes responsibility of husband? In that case he should also carry a PROOF of his post marriage RESPONSIBILITY


Some people also quote the sindoor contains mercury that soothes the brain, hence applied at the most sensitive area of a women's head! so how do you soothe a married mans brain? 

Am ain't against the custom,the questions is why just her? and not him?

Another is the green Bangles concept...

"Wearing of green bangles by married women is indicative of their chastity" (this one too... found via Google)

Okay, any explanations how chastity relates to green bangles?


I had this doubt in my primary school days..Why only 'Ms' changes to 'Mrs' and 'Mr' remains 'Mr'??!  

No ,It has nothing to deal with gender discrimination or women rights,, blah blah blah.. just some random questions,,

And why is that her last name changes? Not his? 

As to why only she has to wear the Mangal sootra?
Why only she has to wear the Shakha-Paula?
Why only she has to have the red mark?


Why not him?


why should she?

Courtesy for all images : GOOGLE IMAGES :P


  1. This is a very sensitive topic and you've debated well on it...actually there is this point which I do feel the need to state here, this is most seen in Hindu households and not in Muslims and Christians. I'm not saying anything negative all I'm saying is maybe it is some sort of a ritual but today man has twisted it for his own benefit.

    Another question that is there or thing that is usually preached to a girl is, "Marry someone who loves you and not the one you love" why can't it be true to even men..now this is the thing that applies to all men irrespective or religion caste and creed !

    Take Care

    1. I agree Fatima, May that be what the religion quotes, these days man has learnt to twist faith according to what he desires.

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  3. I seriously agree with you! Why is it always the woman who has to erase all the evidences of her past life and happily accept all the symbols of her new restricted life? Why not a man! Even he has married and entered a new phase.
    BTW, really well written. :)

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    2. Aditi, This very same thought led me to this post. Men too are stand equal in the marriage, then why is it that only the wife has to change?

  4. Some topics will always remain unanswered...because the world can not come to one POV (point of view) there still are females who wont hesitate to burn down otherr female(read bahu) and den there are males who fight for women rights.Its a huge world and the best way to mend the things is change ourselves....stop judging our own female counterparts all over the world....if a girl is in flesh trade by her own will we will nt like 2 be associated with her....we forget we ar nt ne1 2 judge her by her choice f profession.....
    so we shud start mending ouselves....things wl fall in place...


    1. Indeed Ratika, every lady has the right to choose her mode of life. Neither a dominating husband nor cruel in laws , not even the society can refrain her from it

  5. Very genuine questions.Some of them are relics of the past when women were considered property.Many have given up wearing the toe rings,sindoor at the parting of the hair on the forehead, even wearing mangal sutra.The force of customs,the fear of what others would say and the belief that they do good to well-being of hubby still propel women to continue with these customs.
    Why is husband called the head of the family even if the wife is more talented and possibly earning more?Thankfully Mrs has yielded place for Ms.Why is it women with equal population are under represented in legislatures and decison making bodies?With more education and empowerment of women,these practices will fade away hopefully

    1. Thank you sir, Women's life and rights in India are very much dependent on these hopes. She just hopes and waits to let those hopes come true though it hardly does.
      Most of the time, its the society and pressure that shatter her hopes

  6. well lots of questions and I hope they get answered ..

    I also hope that things and the way of our society and nation changes for the good of the women and not just the few advantages one's but alll of them ..

    thought provoking questions ..


    1. Thanks Bikram.These questions do arise in many of our minds, but they are hardly ever discussed.

  7. totally agree with your views... theses 'rules' that are enforced in the name of tradition are definitely demeaning to the woman... wish there would be change but im not optimistic on that.. past few months, it appears we're actually regressing..

    1. Indeed. All that is needed is the first step towards the change. And once that is achieves,I guess progress will follow

      Thanks for your visit:)

  8. That sms joke is really rude. I can (but won’t) also come out with a joke why married western women wear a round ring in their left ring finger.

    Changing your last name is only an option. Not compulsory. At least here in the United States.

    I have heard, about 100 years ago, in Tamilnadu, married men wore a toe ring. Since, in those days, women walked only looking down, when they see a man with a toe ring, they would know he is “taken”.

    1. That joke prompted me to write this post.
      I dont think the surname change is compulsory here too( I m not sure thou).It is being followed traditionally since ages.

      here, in Maharashtra , there is a custom of married women wearing toe rings.I missed to mention it

      thanks for the read SG :)